#ana is so upset that she can't remember her dreams

[batlleonafc]

Nati total inteam

translation:

Fabi: Do I need to read it out loud?

Alisha: Sorry, I can't read it.

Luana: Shit, can I restart?

Ana: I don't want to answer it.

Luana: Can you cut it?

Alisha: What can you do better with alcohol than without?

Ramona: first of all, I don't drink much alcohol because I don't like it.

Alisha: I would say you're just more relaxed and talk more.

Ramona: But I can definitely Dance better with alcohol, or I'm just better at everything.

Luana: This is macabre. What would your last meal be if you were on death row? If there's something I can't do without, it's my mum's lasagna. It's by far the best lasagna.

Ana:  I would need to be a mix of many things. I love Sushi, I love burgers, and I like Mexican food. It would need to be a bit of everything. That would be my last meal.

Viola: What Animal are you scared off? I don't like cats, but I wouldn't say I'm scared of them.

Fabi: Spiders and creepy crawlies in general.

Viola: I would say Snakes

Seraina: Spiders

Rachel: What is the most useless thing you've ever bought? I've bought so many useless things. I've I had invested the money. I would be a millionaire. Guys don't buy so much stuff. Minimalism is the key. Sadly, I haven't understood that myself yet.

Lia: For what do you not have enough time? Good question. I would say I don't have enough time for my friends and family in Switzerland. I might have the time to call them on Facetime, but I would like to be around to celebrate a birthday and just to be able to spend more time with them.

Ana: Do you have a recurring dream, and what is it about? I'm one of those people who always dream but never can remember what the dream was about. I can maybe remember a dream once or twice a year. This is super annoying because Lia always comes down for breakfast and talks about what she dreamed about, and I'm always jealous of her.

Coumba:  Lifting the world cup trophy. I've had this dream since I was little, and hope it can become reality.

Ramona: What's your favourite pregame song? I don't have a specific song, but I like listening to house music. I like the beat. It motivates me before a game.

Alisha: What is something you're better at than your teammates? My best friend and I like to write songs and rap them when we're bored.

Behind the Camera: You can sing if you want to.

Alisha: no, no, no.

[patriwoso]

a betrayal

alexia putellas x reader

If someone asked from the outside, you'd say Barca was like a family.

Claudia was your sister, a twin. You were double trouble.

Patri was the older sister.

Alexia was the mom. Soccer mom. She made sure you and Claudia kept in line.

You teased Ana and said she was the grandmother, eventually agreeing to be the Aunt though.

Mapi and Ingrid were like Soccer moms too, although sometimes you'd argue Mapi was too childish and she was the baby of the family.

The family was tight. You had your groups within the team and they were close.

When Alexia and Aitana went to the World Cup, you felt betrayed. Confused and upset why they would go against what they'd said the whole time.

You lost some of your family for a few months. You didn't want to talk to them, acknowledge them.

Going to a senior world cup had been yours and Claudia's dream. Mapi and Patri had experienced it before but you were yet to reach that stage of your career.

The first few days were spent crying in Mapi's arms. You felt overwhelmed and upset that this was happening, it wasn't fair.

Alexia had tried to reach out to you but you chose not to reply. Watching the calls on the screen until they rang out. Her messages appearing amongst other notifications.

Hey small stuff. Miss you x

Y/N I'm sorry, I love you ❤️

Please call me. I want to talk to you Y/N/N.

You spent a few weeks with Patri and Pina on holiday in Mallorca, boat trips and tanning on the beach.

The nights were spent cuddled up together watching films, sharing popcorn and toffees.

"Claudi stop wriggling." You'd tug on the blanket, pulling back what she had taken away from you.

"I'm not!"

"That pair of you... your children!" Patri sighs.

And then preseason training started again.

You were with the Barca B team like usual, some of the internationals joining back once their time in Australia and New Zealand had come to an end.

August 20th came around too fast.

You had stayed at Pina's place that night, sharing a bed like you would in the youth age groups on away camps.

"You know whatever happens today we were right for staying home. We stuck by our morals and what we believe P." You tell her, laying in bed.

She didn't reply but let out a giggle when your stomach rumbled loud.

"Let's go out for breakfast."

-

The next morning wasn't quite the same. You lay in Mapi's arms crying. Ingrid rubbing your back softly.

"It's not fair" You sobbed, rubbing your teary eyes on you sleeve.

"I know, mi amor." She kissed the top of your head.

"She messaged me again yesterday." You whispered, pulling out your phone and showing her.

"Y/N! You haven't replied to her messages since July 2nd!" Mapi slaps your arm.

"And?!" You cry, keeping tucked under her arm, watching as she scrolls through the phone.

"Mi querida, you can't just shut her out completely." Ingrid tells you, tucking some hair behind you ear.

"You have to remember that this was also best for Alexia's rehab and injury... As much as we both hate her being there." Mapi tells you, a bit reluctantly. "Message her."

You snatch you phone back, hovering over the keyboard before typing out 'I love you Alexia. I'm sorry'.

The blue button is hit and you chuck you phone on the end of the sofa, not wanting to do anything more.

"Baby steps I suppose." Mapi sighs.

-

You stayed off of social media for a while, not replying to anymore of Alexia's messages. You decided the one reply was enough for now.

Seeing Spain win was hard. You knew the preseason tour was coming up so you had something to keep your mind off of it.

You hadn't expected Alexia to come to Mexico with the team, it being just a week after the world cup final.

You’d spoken to Claudia and Patri one night after training. They didn’t know how to act, you all loved Alexia but the betrayal hurt a lot.

-

“Just smile.” Ingrid’s arm wrapped around you. keeping you close by her side.

Alexia and Mapi had turned up to the preseason tour camp a day after the rest of the team.

“I don’t want to see her, Ingrid.” You drop your head to the side to lean on her, the taller women’s arm pulling you closer into her.

“You can’t avoid her forever. She’s Alexia, and your her favourite on this team. She’ll want to see you.”

“I am not her favourite…”

Ingrid chuckles. “You so are, the favouritism is ridiculous y/n/n. She’s a football mom to you and your her favourite football daughter.”

You keep yourself in Ingrid’s arms, she’s a good hugger and radiates a lot of comfort for you.

“Alexia and María have arrived, they’ll join us in a few moments.” Jona announces to you all as your stood around on the training field.

You start picking at your fingers, a nervous habit of yours.

Your mucking around with Jana and Claudia when you see Alexia and Mapi jogging around the pitch.

The coaching staff split you up into groups of 8, yourself ending up with 6 Barca B players and Marta.

“You alright, grandma?” You smile cheekily and Marta slaps you on the arm.

“Hey Alexia!” You head one of the younger girls say.

You spin around on your heels and see Alexia approach the group.

“Jona said to join you guys.” She smiles, making eye contact with you before you look away.

You look at the floor, the ball bag, anything except Alexia, hoping she’ll leave you alone.

Truth is that you miss her, the 2 and a half months away from her has been a torture as your so used to being with her all the time.

“Hey.” You see her boots appear in front of you.

You turn around and head to the water cooler, getting a bottle out and drinking from it, anything to keep away from Alexia.

You didn’t want to do this, but you didn’t want to face her either.

You’d managed the whole training session without direct conversation, you ignored her stares across the field and worked your way to Claudia and Patri when she approached you.

-

That evening, you gathered in the hotel lobby. A group of fans asking Alexia for pictures and autographs.

You felt uncomfortable watching it, standing besides Mapi and Ingrid again.

“I miss her.” You sigh, whispering softly under your breath.

“Talk to her.” Ingrid whispers back. “She’ll want you too.”

Alexia works herself away from the fans, trying to get back into the group.

She pushes in between you and Caroline, listening to Jona talk before he dismisses you all.

Before she can say anything, or walk away, you through your arms around her shoulders and bury your head into her neck.

Neither of you say anything, you don’t have to.

She rubs your back softly, holding you tight in her arms as if she was afraid you would run off and ignore her again.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles.

“I missed you.” A few tears spill from your eyes, soaking her training top a little.

“I missed you too, small stuff. You’ve gotten taller.” She smiles, kissing your forehead and wiping your teary eyes.

“Ale I hate you so much right now” You shake you head, moving back away from her. “But i love you and I’ve missed you and I don’t want you to do that ever again please.” You tear up some more.

She nods, pulling you back into her arms again. “I love you.”

[whateverthedragonswant]

Soooo my season 5 wishlist kind of goes something like this:

Buck cooking for Christopher and Eddie (bonus points if both Buck and Christopher are teasing Eddie about his inability to cook)

Athena kicking the shit out of the serial rapist (I really, really, really hope that whole sequence in the promo is a dream she's having)

More Karen Wilson

Buck and the 118 being there for Maddie

Uncle Buck moments with Jee-Yun

Protective!Eddie making a reappearance alternating with a sudden appearance of Protective!Buck

Taylor's story evolving into her own (and preferably separate from Buck's) and further away from just being a love interest for Buck - I love her character and would love to see more of her (as Buck's BFF, I said what I said)

Jealous!Eddie and all of the gold that will bring with it

Albert, Ravi, and May being the ultimate trio of the "new" generation

More Bobby and Athena sweetness (I'm currently rewatching season 2 and I am just even more in love with them)

Hen or Josh cutting through Buck and Eddie's bullshit while Christopher aka the universe comes at them from the side, with Carla coming at them from the other side

Carla being told she's part of the family by Eddie, Christopher, and Buck (which would also mirror the scene she had with Abby in 1x10)

Buck and Eddie getting together (obviously) as one of the big payoffs of this season

Eddie throwing the Hildy coffeemaker out in the trash after the hacking emergency

More Buck and Maddie moments (I know they were working up to the PPD reveal for her in 4x14 but it felt odd that she didn't speak to Buck once after Eddie had been shot and while the 118 was in danger)

Eddie and Maddie friendship (lowkey manifesting this 🕯️🕯️🕯️) - I keep thinking back to Eddie being the one to ask back in 4x10 how Maddie was doing & you cannot deny the epicness of these two joining forces, you just can't

Eddie and Ana ending up where they're obviously going to end up - I'm not picky, it can happen any way they choose, but as long as it happens

Pining!Eddie and all that it entails

more Josh and Maddie friendship - does he keep in touch with her even though she quit? Especially after he did all he could to keep her from leaving that first time?

either Eddie with Jee-Yun or him seeing Buck with Jee-Yun

more Hen and Athena moments - YES PLEASE

more Michael, David, and Bobby hijinks

more David (along with Michael)

more Denny, Harry, and Christopher solidarity (bonus points for any parent trapping schemes they come up with for Buck and Eddie)

Evangeline and Nia coming around to Hen and Karen's to visit

the 118 finding out about the legal guardian reveal and Hen giving Buck a look, saying "Really?", Buck giving her that confused expression "What?", and Hen going "I feel so sorry for Eddie, who knew that boy would be into one-brain-cell idiots?", Buck going "Huh? What does that even mean? What idiot? Omg Hen, are you calling Ana an idiot? Don't say that, it will get Eds upset", Hen going "Thank you for continuing to prove my point" with Eddie muttering "Seriously" and drinking his coffee, embarrassed to meet the eye of any of the 118 because he really is in love with an idiot

Concerned!Buck making sure Eddie is doing okay, that he's not straining himself too much, that he's taking care of himself

a moment where Bobby instructs Buck to do something on a call that might be dangerous and Buck smiling wide and going "You know I would, Cap, but I can't. I'm not expendable" and Eddie muttering next to him "Oh my God" Bobby and the 118 looking baffled, Bobby going "Of course you're not expendable, Buck, but we need you to rappell down there to make sure there's no one in the car" Buck still smiling "And normally, I would, because I always thought I was expendable but I was wrong. I'm no longer Expendable Evan. That's what Eddie told me so, I'm sorry, Cap, I can't." Eddie turns his face away from Hen's wide eyes and Chim's dropped jaw, muttering to himself "You chose this. Remember that. You. Chose. This."

& then lots of moments where Buck just casually drops in any conversation that he's not expendable and Eddie's perfect eyeroll reappears & mutters of "oh my God" are heard - "Hey Buck, can you grab me a cup of coffee?" "I would, Chim, but I'm no longer expendable." "You're right there in the kitchen!" "Just because I'm in the kitchen doesn't mean I have to sacrifice myself. I mean more than that. You can get up and grab it yourself, buddy." -> "Buck, can you grab the Jaws and bring it here?" "Cap, Chim is right next to the truck, ask him." "Buck, I--" "I told you. I'm no longer expendable, Cap." -> "Buck, I know you and Taylor broke it off not that long ago but I have the perfect friend in mind for you." "Mads, thanks for the attempted setup but I'm no longer expendable" (with Eddie piping up "That's right, Evan is no longer expendable, so no more blind date setups" with a pointed glare in Maddie's direction) "Oh-kay..." -> "Buck, bring me that kit." "Hen, I would, but I'm no longer expe--" "If you even think about saying that word to me, I will grab the nearest dictionary I can find and hit you with it. Learn what the damn word means. Expendable doesn't mean free from assisting where you're needed. Now grab that damn kit and bring it to me before this man bleeds out." "Uh, you got it, Hen." "That's more like it." -> "Buck, would you mind picking up the pizza on the way back to the house?" "No problem at all, Eds. Will do." Chim: "Hey, why doesn't he get the expendable excuse?" Buck: "Because he's Eddie" and he gives Chim the look that very clearly says "Duh" and from behind him, Eddie smirks and winks at Chim before they both turn to walk away

ALL OF THIS

[spicymayo1983]

Hiya. So this is part 3. Your illicit relationship with Poe continues despite the fact that both of you are starting to feel that it's wrong.

Someone is going to get hurt, and you have a terrible feeling that it will be you.

Warnings, angst! You are cheating on your significant other! (Please don't do that!) Hints of smut, age difference (nothing illegal you are in your mid 20's) Not for anyone under 18.

In a perfect galaxy this would all work out and everyone would be happy. What exactly is "perfect?" You think bitterly to yourself.

Sadly real life isn't perfect, far from it. Your relationship with Poe would have been great if you weren't both set in your ways.

Despite his youthful, virile visage Poe Dameron feels like he's getting old.

He wants to marry his soul mate, settle down and have a family very soon.

Before I'm either too old to play with them or too dead, Poe used to joke with a rakish grin on his face.

The life of an X wing pilot, especially that of the leader of the black squadron, is dangerous, and that's putting it mildly.

Despite the fact that he was kidding you could hear the seriousness in his voice and see it in his eyes.

You, on the other hand, are young (12 years younger than him to be exact) and your gut is telling you that marrying young and having kids would be a mistake.

But at the same time you understand his struggle and where he's coming from. Even though you don't share his sentiment you realize that being a husband and father is Poe's dream, and it's selfish and cruel to be with someone to crush their dreams.

You loved him so much that you let him go. But now you regret that decision but at the same time you don't want to compromise your beliefs and what you want.

And then there's your girlfriend, beautiful, whip smart Anakari. The woman that could put an X wing back together blindfolded. She's three years your junior and a master mechanic, she's even worked on the black leader's beloved craft from time to time.

The woman adores you. Her smile and kisses could make your terrible day wonderful again.

Anyone would be lucky to have someone like her in their life.

And you're doing this to her, you think bitterly.

"Babe, what's wrong? You look upset".

It's a late Friday night and you once again find yourself in Poe's bed. Instead of basking in the afterglow of the moment you are having trouble relaxing.

You've been intimate with him again, twice already and the night is still somewhat young. He isn't done with you, in fact he's just warming up.

Your body is in a state of deep relaxation from the pleasurable sensations that you've experienced. Your mind, though, is wandering.

Poe can see this, and it's upsetting to him.

With a deep sigh you roll over on your side, facing away from him. He wraps his strong arms around you and holds you tight.

"I love you, y/n". Poe confesses, kissing you softly. "I don't think you understand that at times, it broke my heart when you said no when I proposed".

His candid words sent a knife right through your heart.

He still loved you, the words came right out of his mouth.

Poe wanted to marry you, wanted you to be the mother of his children, but you weren't ready for that.

The way he looked at you and the way he touched you told you that, there was noone else in the galaxy that he wanted to be with.

But in order for things to work someone would have to make a sacrifice.

"Poe, I'm not ready to be a wife and a mother, I've said this all before". You explain with a deep sigh. "I love you too, but I'm just not ready".

"I'm willing to compromise". Poe explains with a weak smile. "But what about your girlfriend?"

"I can't let you do that". You reply quickly, sitting up quickly. "It's your dream to be a father, to be honest I'm not sure if I ever want to have children".

"I don't know how I could live my life without you being a major part of it". He confesses, sitting up, his eyes red from tears. "You have my whole heart, I've never loved anyone before like this".

The two of you share another one of those passionate kisses that feel forbidden. You look deeply into his gorgeous eyes and you are lost, you've never been near someone as beautiful, inside and out, as him.

Everything about him is attractive, down to his hands and feet. Poe was like a living, breathing sculpture, just pure perfection.

But he was also a human being with complex emotions. At times you felt like you were leading him along, keeping him from fully realizing his dreams because you wanted to keep using his body for your own pleasure.

"Poe, we can't continue doing this". You confess, holding your head in your hands as you start to cry. "I'm holding you back from what you really want in life and we both know this".

"Please, I can compromise". Poe begged as he leaned over and kissed you again. "Don't do this, I love you and will always love you".

You get out of bed and start to get dressed. Before you leave you take one last look at him and say,

"I love you too, that's why I'm doing this".

Five years later

You hadn't talked to him since that fateful day but you heard that eventually Poe had reconnected with his first love, Zorii Bliss, had a whirlwind romance, got married and had two kids close together with a third on the way.

He was now in his early 40's. His beautiful hair was a salt and pepper gray. Poe looked relaxed, happy and fulfilled in life and deeply in love with Zorii.

Zorii was a passionate and tough woman. In your opinion Poe needed someone like that in his life.

His two beautiful little boys were his world. He looked softer, happier and much more relaxed because of them.

They were adorable with curly reddish brown hair, their father's dark eyes and tan skin.

Your girlfriend is now your wife. You confessed everything to her and she forgave you. The two of you are not only spouses but best friends. You are enjoying your blissful, child free life.

You are happy, extremely happy, but you can't help but wonder if Poe still thinks of you and those lust filled days and nights that you spent together.

The four of you agree to go out on a double date together. Poe wants you to meet his wife.

Zorii is about 7 months along with a little girl. It was going to be their last child. His family was complete and he was happy, so happy, you could see it in his eyes and smile.

You couldn't help but feel slight pangs of jealousy when you see Poe kiss his wife and remember that was once you.

The feelings soon fade when you see how good she is to him, and how happy they genuinely are.

Zorii and Anakari go off by themselves to chat, leaving just you and Poe together alone.

At first the silence is awkward, almost painful. You can't even look at him at first.

"You were right, y/n, I'm happy". Poe confesses, a strained smile appearing on his face. "My boys are my world, and we're finally having a little girl".

"Congratulations". You tell him, smiling weakly and leaning over to gently touch his hand. "Zorii is a wonderful woman, I'm happy for you, seriously".

"Zorii keeps me in line, and I think I need that". Poe tells you, laughing a little. "Ana is a special woman too, brilliant and beautiful, you're so lucky".

"I still love you, and I will always love you until the end of time". Poe continues, looking down a little. "But we had different goals in life, my kids are my world and I can't imagine them not being here".

"I still love you too". You confess, the tears streaming down your face. "But we weren't meant to be, at least not in this lifetime".

The end

[wonderlandmind4]

Delicate Stages: Chp 8

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x OFC Ana Rios

Summary: Bucky Barnes agrees to participate in Deprogramming Sessions. What he gets is not anything like he expected.

Warnings: Language, mentions of anxiety/panic attacks, mild PTSD. Self doubt/loathing. an over use of coffee consumption

Words: 2.8k+

A/N: it’s 2:30am when I edited this..also, we are all Ana. Just saying. Enjoy :) @justreadingfics @nerdyandproud9​

Despite the talking sessions, Ana doing everything she can to coach Bucky through it, she still sees his self doubt like it’s tattooed on his skin. She notices the signs whenever he begins to fall into a self loathing spiral. It dampens the blue of his eyes, ashens his smile, always tucking his left arm closer to his body, the metal plates clicking to lock against his side. Ana sees it all, and she can never help her heart aching for him. There are times when Bucky sits on her right, arms brushing once in a while, when he abruptly leans away, his arm glued to his side.

Ana doesn't comment on it. Instead, she continues to focus on redirecting Bucky's anxiety onto other things. She pulls out a few blank notebooks and a coloring book, which earns her a bewildered look from Bucky. Once she explains that coloring can help focus the mind, they end up coloring half of the book. All the while Ana ignores the glances being thrown her way from the guards, and Agents surrounding them.

They're getting antsy, impatient, though Ana refuses to start the first step into the Deprogramming. Not until Bucky is confident enough he can get through it without a panic attack. Earning an ounce of his trust took more than a few days. Earning half of it took more than a few weeks. She will do it when he's ready.

Two days later, Bucky has a bad day. He informs Ana of his vivid nightmare, how it took nearly an hour to calm himself down. How it took an hour for him to decipher what was real in front of him, and not haunting the shadows of his brain. Ana advises the next time it happens, he is welcomed to find her for she is always willing to talk him through it anytime. She doesn't miss the way Bucky grips is left forearm with his right hand, keeping it close to his ribs.

It's how they end up on the roof again, quickly becoming their secluded spot the past few days and nights. In the observation lab, there are an abundance of people mulling about, doing their work tasks. There are guards who pretend they aren't keenly watching Bucky. Who pretend they aren't ready to pull their guns and shoot him if need be. She hates that.

Here, on the roof, it's just them. Their own peaceful little haven. Confessions can be made here, emotions can be shown, secrets can be uttered without being overheard. They are alone up here, and Bucky seems to open up just a tad more about the demons that haunt him at night.

"I think that's why I can't figure out what's real or not, because...I remember." Bucky ends up admitting as they lay on the floor.

Ana quietly observes him. He turns his face towards the night sky, hiding his expression like he's ashamed of his next words. His lips tremble briefly as the air thickens between them. Ana frowns.

“At least, in my dreams, I remember it. Subconsciously." He continues softly. "It was like I was trapped in this unbreakable glass box, helplessly watching. Do you have any idea what it's like to have no control over your body, over your own mind. Locked away so deeply, your screams can’t even reach the surface. You’re only somewhat aware of it, so at night, you lay there, wondering if it was all just a dream. Or if it wasn’t, and you’re left with knowing of the horrific things you’ve done.”

Bucky shoves his hands through his hair, briefly gripping the roots. “It doesn’t really matter in the end, because it was all me. I did it all. Do you have any idea what it's like for those memories to consume you, and when morning comes, you aren’t sure if you just woke from a nightmare, or stayed awake to relive it all. If it was real the whole time.”

A self-deprecating ghost of a chuckle emits from his mouth. A bitter, sad noise that shouldn't be leaving his lips. Ana spots a tear escaping the corner of his eye, racing down his temple and soaking into his long dark hair. Her fingers itch to wipe it away, but if she touches Bucky now, with how vulnerable he is, it could make or break the heavy energy surrounding them. 

Ana is considered an emotional and psychological Healer, an Energy Alchemist; it doesn't mean she likes having to use her so called gift. She rarely does so outside of helping the Avengers. However, maybe if she reaches out, she could understand Bucky a little better. Maybe it can help in the healing process. Ana knows it's time to tell him. She just hopes he won't be angry for keeping it from him for a month.

"No, I don’t." She tells him softly, answering his rhetorical questions. "But I can. If you want me to."

Bucky turns his head to face her, eyes glistening in the soft orange light of the roof. "What?"

"I'm uh- something called an Empathetic Healer." Ana confesses nervously, rubbing her collarbone. "Also an Energy Alchemist, according to everyone around here. I just tamper it down, quite a bit actually. But if I wanted to, I can feel peoples emotions. I can sense the energy surrounding them, can transmute- morph-  negative energy into positive energy, if you will. I just prefer not to do it often. Touch people with it, I mean, unless directly requested."

If Bucky is angry or upset about keeping this major part of herself a secret, he doesn't show it. Those sky blue eyes unreadable. His eyebrows twitch together. 

"You manipulate peoples emotions and feelings."

It's not a question. It's a statement, one that needs to be corrected quickly, before Bucky misunderstands and takes it the wrong way. If he hasn't already. Ana shifts, leaning up on her elbows to look down at him. She vigorously shakes her head.

"Not at all!" She clarifies firmly. "I can't manipulate emotions or feelings. That is completely different. I don’t- I can’t control them and if I could, I would never do that to anyone. Especially you. Alright? Plus that's against people's rights and free will and a total invasion of privacy and that's absolutely horrible. Even if I could, I wouldn't, you know? That is not not me, not my protocol."

"Rambling seems to be." Bucky quips.

It takes a second for his words to sink in, all the while noticing the mischievous gleam in his eyes. Ana narrows her own, tugs at a strand of his hair before falling on her back again.

"You're a dick." She huffs while Bucky chuckles. "You scared me for a moment. I thought I really upset you."

"I'm sorry. I figured you had something else special about you though." Bucky responds, but that little chuckle is still coloring his voice. "Continue."

"I should just leave you out here. I hope it rains." The inky sky is clear of all clouds. She makes to sit up, a hand on her jacket pulls her back down.

"Stay, please." 

It falls silent after that, a nice peace between them. The moon is directly above them, high in the sky, a faint halo of light surrounding it. Ana is trying to ignore how close Bucky's right hand is to her left. Can practically feel the heat radiating off his skin. 

Ana attempts to keep it at bay, but the weighted energy between them is prickling at her skin. It's like it woke up the moment she confessed about it. She tries to just focus on the moon and the twinkling stars, instead of her heart rate kicking up a notch. It's Bucky who breaks the silence.

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to." He begins, voice soft and reserved. "Though I'm not sure you should. These are the horrible, terrifying feelings."

"Then I won't."

"Maybe another time."

"Okay."

A beat passes. "Ana."

Ana turns her head towards him. Bucky appears...open. His expression clear of any haunted memories for the moment. His eyes are wide and trusting, and so so blue. It's ridiculous how they look like sapphires shinning against the bright light of the moon. He licks his lips and Ana can't help but track the movement, especially when his breath shudders.

"Bucky."

"I think I want you too. Before you ask, yes. I'm sure."

Ana sits up again, wiggles around until she's facing him as he follows. She blows out a breath, and ruffles her hand through her hair. Because laying on the hard wood flooring of the roof does wonders for knots. Before she can ask, Bucky holds his hand out, palm open and waiting.

"You won't feel anything, in case you were wondering. It doesn't amp up current emotions." Ana elaborates. "If I wanted to change your energy around from negative to positive, that's the only thing you'll feel. Be it bad or good or a sense of calm. I take on everything else. It helps me relate better to someone."

Bucky acknowledges the information with a dip of his chin. Allowing her eyes to shut, Ana mentally pulls down her walls where she usually blocks her gift, and feels energy rush through her veins. She gently places her hand in Bucky's, his skin a little calloused, but warm and somehow still soft. Nothing happens for a few moments, just the sound of their breathing throughout the night air.

Abruptly, a surge of emotions come crashing through her body, makes Ana gasp audibly. Her body immediately begins to tremble, wave after wave of chaotic emotions crash over her, but she doesn't pull away. She can feel Bucky tighten his fingers around her hand, as if he's trying to comfort her, because it's not enough for him to feel this everyday, he has to comfort her as well. She can't see any of his memories from the pass decades, but she starts to feel it all. Every single emotion.

Fear. Hurt. Anger. Relief. Pain. Confusion. Sadness. Torment. Hatred. Heartbreak. Fear, pain, anger, confusion. Fear, pain, anger, confusion. Torture. Fear, pain, anger, confusion. Loneliness. It all whirls around inside her heart in an anarchic flurry. It's nearly crippling, seizing around her heart, ensnaring her brain, attacking her soul.

"Enough!"

A hand is ripped away from hers and Ana's automatically press both of hers to her chest. Attempts to calm the storm that rages inside her. She's panting, just trying to steady her breathing. That was quite a lot to take in after keeping her gift dormant for a while. Usually, she just uses her energy alchemy to help Wanda after her nightmares of her brother, but this- this was too much too soon.

"Turn it off, Ana!"

She hears Bucky, but it takes five slow, deep breaths to do so. She nods her head to let him know it won't happen again. Ana slowly opens her eyes, finds Bucky extremely close to her face, concerned eyes searching her own. Exhaustion assaults her body, her eyes flutter in a fight to keep them open.

"I'm good." Ana assures him breathlessly.

Bucky frowns, moving his lips as if he wants to tisk at her. Instead, he brings both hands up to her face, gently cupping her cheeks, and she is way too fucking exhausted to figure out what that means. He swipes both his thumbs beneath her eyes, wet trails smearing across her skin.

"Is that why you're crying?" Bucky asks softly. He swipes his thumbs again. “Maybe that was a bad idea."

Ana attempts to move her head. The cool metal of his left hand feels good against her skin, but so does the warmth of his right hand. It's a rather serene contraindication. Bucky is a contraindication in many ways. It's getting harder to keep her eyes focused on his, blue, blue, so blue eyes. Some strands of his hair have fallen over his eye. Ana finds that rather rude of them to obscure her view. 

So she lifts her hand and slowly pushes the long hair away from his face, her fingers running deeper. Ana brushes his hair back until her fingers follow the curve of his ear. Trails her touch down his neck, over his racing pulse, his slightly exposed collarbone, to the middle of his chest. Thinks that this might be her favorite spot on his chest, where she can feel this raw tortured yet gentle heart of this man yearning to be redeemed. She leans forward slightly, his hands still holding her face. She's too tired to pick up on the little hitch in Bucky's breath, and the quickened beat of his heart.

"I am so sorry, Bucky." Ana murmurs, another tear races down her cheek. "I am going to help you, because that's what friends do. I will help you." 

And that's what was missing in all of his emotions. Friendship, family, comfort, trust, love. A sense of belonging. Acceptance.

"I know you will, darling." He whispers back. "I really shouldn't have let you do that." 

Ana shrugs one shoulder causing Bucky to laugh lowly. She can feel it rumble in his chest beneath her palm.

"Let's get you to bed." He finally drops his hands from her face, using them to stand. 

Bucky reaches down to pull her up. Ana stumbles, not sure if she can make it down the stairs to her room. Her own energy completely drained, a side affected to her ability. She leans her body on Bucky's for support, her head swimming, vision blurry. Stairs will literally be the death of her, she can barely stay awake at this point. Maybe it was a bad idea. She doesn't understand what is really happening anymore, just that she feels like she's floating and a low drawl of a voice is seeping into her veins. She can't fight the pulls of sleep any longer.

***

When Ana wakes, an unusual tiredness aches throughout her body. It's expected after her little show last night. She rubs her eyes, massages her temples while yawning, then makes herself get out of bed. Her trek to her bathroom is ungraceful, regaining her foots before she gets in the shower. The steaming water is a welcoming sting on her stings, helps pull herself together, because if she doesn’t, she can be very empathetically clingy if she isn't careful. Ana can read and feel people's energy, but that usually leaves herself open and vulnerable in the aftermath. 

Once she reaches the main floor of the facility department, greeting everyone she sees along her way, including Max with a hug, she spots something sitting at her desk. She begins to smile before the smell even hits her nose. Ana picks up the large cup of coffee, inhaling the strong aroma before cautiously taking a sip. It's of drinkable temperature, and she nearly moans at the comforting roasted taste.

"Strong." Ana mumbles against the rim of the mug.

"And blacker than my soul." Bucky quips from right behind her.

Ana snorts against the mug, and nudges his elbow once he's standing next to her. "You're ridiculous. Thank you."

"Take it as a lame apology for last night." He hops up on the desk, gently nudging her shin with his boot.

She waves her hand as a response to forget it, since she offered in the first place. She takes a rather slow, long sip, watching as Bucky smiles, then occupies himself by starting the breathing techniques. He appears well rest despite the emotions of last night. His rich brown hair is pushed out of his eyes, falling more to the left today than usual. The scruff covering his face from his plump upper lip to his neck is becoming a little more thick, it's definitely working well for him. It also doesn't hide his strong jawline. 

Ana is distracted by the rise and fall of his toned, broad chest, muscles defined slightly under his gray henley shirt. The first four buttons are undone and she cannot tell if he did that on purpose or just doesn't care, but Ana appreciates it.

She's abruptly hit with just how attractive Bucky really is. Not that she didn't notice that on the first day they met, but it rises up stronger this morning, smacking her in the face. He is handsome, rugged, soft and hard like the contraindication he is and- this is completely, utterly inappropriate. Ana blames the effects of last night, although, maybe that's not entirely true; maybe something else shifted between them on the roof.

She swallows a big sip of coffee and goes for another one. That's when Bucky decides to stretch his arms above his head, his shirt riding up enough to reveal a sliver of skin, just a hint of lower abs, and the beginning cut of his Adonis belt. Very appropriately named. 

Ana's eyes drop without her control, watching as he leans back to arch his back, arms in the air. His legs spread wider, thigh muscles flexing thickly, hooking his calves under the table. Ana stares as he arches his back again, eyes dropping back down his stomach, exposed skin above his sweatpants, and lower to follow the line of his-

Ana sputters against her mug, pulling it away and coughing out the coffee she inhaled into her airway. She waves at Bucky, signalling that she's fine, since he stopped stretching. She informs him once her coughing has stopped, that she loves coffee so much she decided to literally breath it in.

"Told you it’s unhealthy." Bucky tells her smugly, crossing his arms. It makes his peck muscles bulge a little. His biceps are ridiculously defined.

Ana lets the remark pass, because that was not the reason why she suddenly choked. Empathizing was a bad idea.

*********************

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